The Hokey Pokey

You feel that familiar sensation of the fine Greenmount beach sand between your toes (“Like talcum powder,” Grandma used to say) and are instantly transported to all those idyllic beach holidays of your childhood. You’ve got to find Grandma and Grandpa or those holidays might never happen. Your heart pounds as you spot your grandmother and you’re briefly awed by her youth and beauty. She is staring admiringly at the young man by her side and you imagine for a moment that your work is already done.

But to your horror you realise the young man is not your grandfather but a strapping, puff-chested, US Soldier making his way towards the pillow and log fights set up on the beach, no doubt to impress his prospective conquest with his superior American strength. This was never a part of Grandma and Grandpa’s quaint courtship story. To make matters worse you then notice the nervous young man already astride the log, pillow in hand, looking on in alarm at his prospective foe. It’s your grandfather!  A wobbly grandfather at that, who’s having trouble wrapping one of his legs around the pole, thanks to the injury you just gave him!

How did this happen? Should you intercede? Risk becoming an active player in the unfolding drama?

Before you’ve had time to think it through it’s too late. The well-built American leaps astride the log, pillow in hand, clearly intent on inflicting serious physical injury to the quaking youth at the other end. The pillows start flailing as the crowd stops to watch and roars its approval. You’re pleased to note your Grandpa gives as good as he gets … for a while. But one wild round arm of his misses its target and he briefly over balances on his ill-aimed follow through. Soldier Boy takes advantage, delivering a devastating pillow swipe to the back of the head and the crowd groans in sympathy.

The impact sends Grandpa sprawling to the sand headfirst with no time to even to break his fall. He lands with a sickening thud. Soldier Boy looks about, pleased with himself. You watch aghast as your grandmother swoons as Soldier Boy dismounts the log and saunters her way, while your grandfather lies in the sand rubbing the back of his head moaning.

 

Do you:

Greenmount Hill Picnic Shelter: Follow your grandmother and Solider Boy as they wander off towards the top of Greenmount Hill and attempt to sabotage their looming romance? Your Grandma was always a beautiful woman and boasted about how many other marriage proposals she received during those holidays. You better make sure she doesn’t accept one from this jock. Follow the path up the hill at the south of the beach and stop at the picnic shelter made of stones.

Or

Eden Ave Holiday Flats: Try and console your grandfather, boost his spirits and ensure that he pursues your grandmother? He’s clearly had a blow to his confidence, and he’s always made jokes about how he was punching way above his weight in landing your Grandma. You fear this setback could end his pursuit of the romance altogether. Head around the back of the Surf Club and cross the road to walk down Eden Avenue until you reach Ward Street.