The Rental

(Chelsea sits, sipping white wine and staring at a poster of Renoir’s dance in the country that is badly mounted in a slightly-too-large frame. Glen is making risotto across the counter from her, in the kitchen.)

CHELSEA: I feel like I’ve never really noticed this poster before.

GLEN: Mhmm.

CHELSEA: I mean, I’ve never looked at it properly. Like, I’ve never really, taken it in, fully. You know?

GLEN: Right.

CHELSEA: (she considers it some more) Honestly. I think I hate it.

GLEN: What? It’s a nice picture!

CHELSEA: Well first of all, It’s not a picture, it’s a poster. And I think it’s kind of tacky. It belongs in a college kid’s apartment.

GLEN: (Scoffs)

CHELSEA: Or a recent grad, I guess. Because at least you framed the poster, but it’s still a poster.

GLEN: It’s pretty!

CHELSEA: The frame’s too big. You can see the cardboard behind it.

GLEN: It’s a Renoir!

CHELSEA: So what? College kids know about Renoir, Glen.

GLEN: Alright, I get it. (Goes back to cooking dinner.)

CHELSEA: (She sips her wine. Considers how to continue.) I didn’t mean to bash Renoir. I just thought it might be nice to find something new for this spot. You know, we could pick out a piece together.

GLEN: It’s just that, that poster is important to me.

CHELSEA: An important poster?

GLEN: It has sentimental value.

CHELSEA: (getting suspicious) Why?

GLEN: It brings back memories.


GLEN: Old times. My trip to France. I have to focus on the Risotto.

CHELSEA: Didn’t you go to France with RayAnn?

GLEN: Oh, does it matter?

CHELSEA: You just said it has sentimental value. As in, it MATTERS, As in, you look at it and have fond memories. Of another woman! And that doesn’t really… sit well with me.

GLEN: I can love you and still have fond memories of her. That’s all they are. Memories.

CHELSEA: It seems weird to me. You still talk. It’s just weird.

GLEN: Me and Ray have history, you know?

CHELSEA: Not really, no.

GLEN: Better than being bitter and resentful, right?

CHELSEA: Honestly, I don’t know.

GLEN: (Leaves the risotto) But you know I love you.


GLEN: Chels–

CHELSEA: Look, I thought we were taking the next step in our relationship. I thought we were making a commitment. But me moving into your place feels weird.

GLEN: Ok, in what way does it feel weird, Chelsea? I thought it felt pretty good, I mean–

CHELSEA: I feel– God I’ve wanted to say this for weeks. I feel like I’m living in a museum of your past love life. Everything in here is attached to her. You bought all your dishes together, you brought back mementos from trips, you had sex in the bed–

GLEN: (tries to lighten the situation) I bought new sheets.

CHELSEA: Ew, Glen, I’m being serious. Her shampoo is still under your sink and you broke up three years ago.

GLEN: You could throw it out if it bothers you that much.

CHELSEA: That’s not my — YOU could throw it out too, but that’s not my point. I don’t feel like I belong here. I’m an intruder in your house.

GLEN: You know that’s not true.

CHELSEA: Well it’s how I feel! Do you even want me here?

GLEN: I… Oh shit the Risotto’s burning.

CHELSEA: Glen, answer the question!

GLEN: Gimme a sec. Damnit it’s sticking to the pan. The bottom’s all black–

CHELSEA: (mutters) Maybe it’ll burn the place down and we can start fresh.

GLEN: What?

CHELSEA: I’m kidding. Mostly. I just feel [Defeated. Lonely. Embarrassed.]

GLEN: (leaves the risotto.) Ok, Ok I’m sorry Chels. I didn’t realize. I think I get what you’re saying.

CHELSEA: /We should break up.

GLEN: /We’ll hang a new picture.


Your final stop is back towards the “Found Grounds” at 10429 85th Ave. Walk back up 106th ave and take a right onto 85th ave. Follow 85th ave for a block and a half, your destination will be on your left.